Ramblings and Reflections

I see so much resistance amongst teens for letting their parents advise them about choosing initial career paths. Many parents too resign themselves off this responsibility, by saying they are allowing their children to make the choice. But the matter is hardly that simple, I present below a few observations related to this topic. It may help all of us as parents of teenagers.

"Let the child choose what he / she likes": is a slippery slope

Life is long, with phases. Each phase has its own likes/dislikes, passions, priorities and interests. Our interests and passions keep on changing through life, we grow bored of doing even interesting things, after a period of time.

Current interests of the teen, based on limited experience and media/marketing exposure, may not result in the best of decisions. It would not be fair to keep on asking him / her "what are your interests? Do what your heart tells you, etc.". He or she may only have a impulsive, moment-in-time, answer just like all of us adults.

"What you like" VS "What you are good at" VS "What the world needs as priority"

The above 3 things may have very few intersections. At the least, we should be making our children aware of these things being distinct. I may love being a painter, but have no talent for it. Should I risk it as a career? What if my passion is something that the modern world does not need at all, it would be difficult to chose that as a career and ensure a secure and contented future?

Its important to teach children the above differences and how to balance them or align them in the career paths they choose.

Why parent's insight is necessary

We make most of our decisions based on our knowledge and intuition. The only source of our knowledge is "experiences".

Some of these experiences are our own and most of these experiences are of others. Our immediate families, friends, networks, experts, etc. via mediums like personal observations, word of mouth, reading, videos, podcasts, news, etc.

Young adults likely have lesser exposure to experiences of others in the context of making decisions related to choosing their initial careers. Imho this is an area where parents can guide children through their own experiences and their known experiences about people in their network.

The changing realities

Unlike 20 years ago, the youth of today, will most likely switch 15-20 jobs in their careers (if the current system stays put at all !) They will also most likely make wider career-branch, switches. Given this reality, we are taking only about the initial choice of career for the teen, later he / she will have plenty of opportunity to change any which ways, where-in he / she will take their own decisions.

It is this first choice of career streams, in the initial formative years, that the teens really need the support, guidance and reasonable involvement from their parents.

Parents, the biggest stakeholders

Career counsellors apart, you as parents are your child's biggest and most intense well-wisher. You are the biggest stakeholder in making him / her independent and successful, don't shy away from that responsibility. Make some time, do some research and give the right advice. Don't obsess over it, but don't neglect it either.

Best wishes to all !

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